The Wankband

We don’t even know where to begin here with the potential puns and avalanche of euphemisms, so we’ll just play it straight and come right out and say it: Pornhub is making a bracelet to capture the energy you create when masturbating.

It’s called the Wank Band and its aim is to harness all that “dirty energy” you create with your wrist moving to and fro and channel it into your electronic devices (which are frequently used to watch porn, which would in turn create more energy, etc.). Pornhub says a small inner valve in the band sends a weight up and down with each stroke, and the wearable stores that generated energy until you need it. The Wank Band is still in development right now, but hey, if you happen to know anyone, anyone at all who masturbates, please let them know that Pornhub is looking for beta testers. [Purchase]