Misfortune Cookies

Jan 9, 2014

Category: Food

“Don’t be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams.” If those kind of tepid clichés turn you off from indulging in fortune cookies, you’re not alone. What once seemed thrilling and novel as a youngster now seems hack. But these new depressingly accurate Misfortune Cookies from Firebox leave all the rainbows and unicorns behind and deal strictly in the cold harsh realities of modern day adult life.

With blunt messages like “Everyone you know wishes they hadn’t met you. Avoid the following colors: Red, Blue, Green (and any mixture of those),” these cookies promise to wake you up from your rose-colored slumber. And really, after gorging yourself on General Tso’s, you probably deserve a little kick in the ass. [Via | Purchase]

Misfortune Cookies 2

Misfortune Cookies 3

HiConsumption is reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. Learn more

More From Food

This 26L CORDURA EDC Backpack Was Inspired By Special Forces Medical Packs

A rugged limited-edition collab between GORUCK & Huckberry.

Posted By Tim Huber

Partner
Featured Image

This Service Offers A Gourmet Steakhouse Experience Delivered To Your Home

World-class cuts prepared by world-class chefs hand-delivered to your door.

Posted By

Jan 15, 2021

Featured Image

Jumpstart Your Day With MANTRA Labs’ Intuitive Chrono Supplement Bundle

Forget about sugary mixtures, jittery pre-workouts, and trendy gimmicks.

Posted By

Aug 12, 2020

Featured Image

A-Five’s Heritage Subscription Box Contains 10 Ultra-Top-Shelf Steak Cuts

Japanese Ribeye, Altair Tri-tip, and Angus strip, skirt, and prime t-bone.

Posted By

Jul 29, 2020

Featured Image

The 20 Best Meat Delivery Services

Today's finest, resturaunt-quality, mail-order cuts delivered fresh to your door.

Posted By

May 7, 2020

Featured Image

The 10 Best Hot Sauce Subscription Clubs

A monthly literal interoperation of variety being the spice of life.

Posted By

Apr 3, 2020