Misfortune Cookies

Jan 9, 2014

Category: Food

“Don’t be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams.” If those kind of tepid clichés turn you off from indulging in fortune cookies, you’re not alone. What once seemed thrilling and novel as a youngster now seems hack. But these new depressingly accurate Misfortune Cookies from Firebox leave all the rainbows and unicorns behind and deal strictly in the cold harsh realities of modern day adult life.

With blunt messages like “Everyone you know wishes they hadn’t met you. Avoid the following colors: Red, Blue, Green (and any mixture of those),” these cookies promise to wake you up from your rose-colored slumber. And really, after gorging yourself on General Tso’s, you probably deserve a little kick in the ass. [Via | Purchase]

Misfortune Cookies 2

Misfortune Cookies 3

More From Food

Project Black's TR2 Is A Compact Tactical Respirator For Any Operation

Full-fledged air filtration in an easily-packable format.

Posted By Chris West

Partner
Featured Image

The 10 Best Hot Sauce Subscription Clubs

A monthly literal interoperation of variety being the spice of life.

Posted By

Apr 3, 2020

Featured Image

The 15 Best Dutch Oven Recipes

Enhance your portfolio of impressive recipes with these tasty staples.

Posted By

Mar 12, 2020

Featured Image

The 10 Best BBQ Sauces You Can Buy At The Grocery Store

The best in Kansas City, Carolina, Memphis, Texas, & more.

Posted By

Mar 9, 2020

Featured Image

Pump Up Your Workouts With This 100% Grass-Fed Protein Powder

Transparent workout supplement with no artificial sweeteners or GMOs.

Posted By

Aug 28, 2019

Featured Image

Tabasco 150th Anniversary Diamond Reserve Hot Sauce

This is the champagne of hot sauces.

Posted By

Apr 26, 2018