Attire: Beach Bum

Aug 7, 2015

Category: Style

Unless you live near one of those frightening clothing optional beaches in Europe, you’re going to need to dress yourself before you go off to take in a little sun, surf, and sand. While you could just show up wearing a pair of shorts, there’s no reason to let the bikini crowd see you in anything but your finest gear. You should be outfitted to fight off UV rays, ready to hop into the waves, and have some of your most necessary gadgets along for the ride, guarded against the unforgiving elements. That’s why we’ve found attire for the beach bum that is classy, understated, and functional.

It’s easy to forget that soaking up some rays isn’t all fun and games. You need to stave off skin cancer, stay comfortable in the heat, and remain hydrated, all while making a statement that’s stylish and casual. Let us help you make your day at the beach a…well, you know.

Birdwell Boardshorts

Birdwell Boardshorts

Naturally your swimming trunks are going to be the backbone of your whole outfit. These boardshorts from Birdwell are an above-the-knee design that is intended to give you a good range of motion whether treading water or heading out into the breakers on a paddle board. Dual ply nylon on the outside makes them tough, and the hardy lacing with brass grommets looks good while also keeps these in place, even when the undertow wants to pants you. And they’ve been made in America since 1961.

Purchase: $79

A.P.C. Striped Cotton and Linen-Blend T-Shirt

A.P.C. Striped Cotton and Linen-Blend T-Shirt

Blended linen and cotton, this tee is made for feeling the refreshing sea breeze without exposing your body to too much sun. The mostly white coloration will keep you cool by reflecting light and heat away from you, while the midnight blue stripes add a distinctly refined Parisian aesthetic that brings a touch of the French Riviera to every beach you frequent.

Purchase: $125

Hari Mari 'Scouts' Flip Flop

Hari Mari ‘Scouts’ Flip Flop

The Flip Flop is a timeless piece of beachware that can be done right, but is commonly done horrifically wrong. Protect your feet and your entire spine with these memory foam sandals complete with full rubber traction sole. They’ll reduce the impact of walking along hard sands for less back problems, make your feet look like a million bucks, and let you do a little scrambling around the beach cliffs should you so desire.

Purchase: $65

Illesteva Leonard Sunglasses

Illesteva Leonard Sunglasses

Handmade in Italy, these are modern sunglasses with a throwback design. They’ll complement your outfit with their tortoiseshell look, while mirrored lenses will keep your eyes well guarded from harmful reflections off the water. Delicately marked at the edges with the Illesteva brand, those who know will tip their hat to your fine taste, while even those who don’t will be struck by your keen fashion sense.

Purchase: $177

J. Crew Paulmann Panama Hat

J. Crew Paulmann Panama Hat

The panama hat, like the fedora, is indisputably impressive when done right. Thankfully, Paulmann doesn’t fail in the slightest with a rich indigo band that blends with the blues in your striped shirt and makes the whites and colors in your outfit pop. Handmade from toquilla straw, your look will be honestly unique and perfect for keeping the sun off your scalp while topping you off in classic style.

Purchase: $65

Apolis Beach Tote

Apolis Beach Tote

Altruism never looked so good. This beach tote is hand-woven by a cooperative group of artisans in rural Bangladesh. It gives jobs to women who need them and provides you with a striking, woven bag for your sunscreen, towel, and gear. Real leather straps and rugged golden jute fiber construction add masculinity along with plenty of panache. With big dimensions, there’s space to spare.

Purchase: $98

Pendleton Oversized Jacquard Towel

Pendleton Oversized Jacquard Towel

Stretch out on this oversized towel, large enough for the biggest hombres and chic enough for the most image-conscious; the Jacquard is as absorbent as it is arresting. Borrowing from traditional native american designs, it conjures images of a Navajo rug while providing you with plush comfort that’s right at the intersection of soft and strong. Just don’t leave it alone too long, as the eye-catching design is an enticement to anyone.

Purchase: $50

Turtle Shell 2.0 Bluetooth Speaker

Turtle Shell 2.0 Bluetooth Speaker

Take your tunes along with you for a beachside barbecue or hosting your own Beach Blanket Bingo reenactment. The Turtle Shell is a hardy waterproof speaker that can withstand the worst weather and the fickle tides while giving you plenty of bass and treble to set whatever mood you desire. Works wirelessly, turning your phone into a remote for easier control both near and far.

Purchase: $100

OtterBox Defender Case

OtterBox Defender Case

Leaving your phone at home is not an option, but without the proper case, you’ll be digging sand out of every nook and cranny for months to come, and that’s only if the water doesn’t destroy it. Made with three layers of protection and bearing a military grade certification against dust, water, and drops, your phone will be safe as houses in this case. Furthermore, it looks badass.

Purchase: $45

Jack Black Sun Guard

Jack Black Sun Guard

One of the premier names in men’s hygiene, Jack Black’s natural products provide more water resistance than most synthetics, smell better, are more easily absorbed, and give you full spectrum sun protection. A high SPF of 45 blocks out UVA and UVB rays while not making you smell like a medicine cabinet or washing away at the first sign of wetness. Both the first and last line of protection for your skin, there’s no excuse to skimp.

Purchase: $21

Hydrapak Stash Bottle

Hydrapak Stash Bottle

Smash it, mash it, twist it, and squish it, the soft sides of the Hydrapak water bottle won’t break or leak, nor will they injure anything else you’re carrying in your tote. Heat stroke is a very real concern when you’re at the beach, and staying hydrated is the best way to avoid a trip to the emergency room. Easy to refill and capable of collapsing when not in use, the colors even conjure up the sea and sky.

Purchase: $18

Hess Pintail Handplane

Hess Pintail Handplane

Serious surf hounds will find that this is the perfect way to deal with breakers and the big waves off the most brutal coasts. Made by surfing expert and carpenter Danny Hess, this wasn’t made in a lab, but tried and tested in the actual waters by those who know how to hold a line and stay in the barrel. Crafted out of recovered hardwood from California, it’s not only useful and gorgeous, but sustainable.

Purchase: $175

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