Hairy Carry: The 6 Best Beard Oils

Your beard is your best friend. It is what keeps you warm when the world has turned a cold shoulder to you. It hides you from vicious and judgmental eyes. It is what you cry into when your lady finally packs her bags to run off with her spinning instructor. It does all this an asks nothing in return, save that you care for it and love it as it loves you. To properly show your beard the affection it deserves, you need a few items. A good beard comb and a decent beard oil are a good start.

Your face produces a lot of natural oils that your hair needs to stay healthy. If it doesn’t have these, then it dries out and becomes unmanageable. The ends split, the follicles grow slower, and no matter how much beard and mustache wax you apply it just won’t hold the right weird whirligig shape. Sometimes the oils from your skin aren’t enough and you need to pamper your beard with something else. Something that will give your hair a little extra help so that it stays robust and manageable for years to come. That is when you need one of the 6 best beard oils.

Leven Rose Beard Oil

Leven Rose Beard Oil

Pro: No scent
Con: Takes a long time to see best results

Heaven Scent: Many beard oils include scents that let you smell like a grove of lilacs, a botanical sachet, a medicine cabinet, or a painted lady who walks the night. These might entice you, but most men want their natural musk to come through. Despite having “Rose” right in the name, this is an organic oil meant to be entirely without smell. As you stalk your prey through the forest or hunt down the elusive Beard Babe groupie you’ll never have to worry about smelling like anything other than 100% home-grown man. The golden jojoba oil and cold pressed Moroccan argan oil are completely unrefined and unadulterated with any synthetic chemicals just in case your beard is on the paleo diet. The natural ingredients mean you will see the best results after a lengthy 10 day period, but once it starts working you can expect soft, manageable magic to occur. [Purchase: $14]

Bearded Bastards Woodman Beard Oil

Bearded Bastard Woodman Beard Oil

Pro: Works best with rough beards
Con: Heavy

Itch Patrol: This is the beard oil that a man buys if he’s ever driven himself to the hospital with an axe in his head or has to make his own hammer because all the commercial ones are “too girly.” It’s a slick oil meant for rough beards that see plenty of action in the woods or riding the range. The people at Bearded Bastard help you tame your thatch with nearly twice as many oils as most other makers. They have safflower, jojoba, grapeseed, almond, argan, castor, and olive oils mixed together. The result can be a little on the heavy side, but the extra weight, thickness, and protection are important if you live in rough climates, work outside, or have unusually dry skin that doesn’t produce enough natural oils for your bear wrassling lifestyle. No oil we found cut down on itching or winter dryness better. It also makes sharp, unruly hair soft and tame as a fluffy kitten. The scent is woodsy without reeking like you rolled in cedar chips. [Purchase: $20]

Beardbrand Spiced Citrus Oil

Beardbrand Spiced Citrus Oil

Pro: Adds a luster and shine to your beard
Con: Lightweight

Fast Acting: You’re busy making business deals, breaking hearts, and buying up tactical knives for close-quarters combat with rabid beasts. You don’t have time to wait for some substandard beard oil to get your mane ready for the boardroom and the bedroom. With a mix of jojoba, almond, castor, and grapeseed oils, this will work quickly to hydrate and permeate your beard with an easy application. It has a light citrus and vanilla scent from the grapefruit, vanilla, and clove combination that is enticing but not overpowering. You’ll get a good luster from this oil that will catch the light and always look healthy and suave, even after a partially-remembered bachelor party. Overall this is very light and won’t weigh down your face or clog up your pores. Kills itching very well though it won’t do quite as much to make your whiskers more manageable so guys with wiry or curly hair should beware. Thankfully Beardbrand offers a satisfaction guarantee. [Purchase: $25]

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YULI’s Mr. Incredible

Pro: Includes excellent disinfecting properties
Con: Highly scented

A Feast for the Senses: A really strong beard can end up absorbing a lot of smells. If you spend your days frolicking through fields of rose petals then this is a good thing. If you like to indulge in heaps of nachos from a gas station, this is a decidedly negative attribute. To help hide some of the less desirable smells that could invade your whiskers you’ll want a beard oil with a stronger smell. Mr. Incredible from YÜLI Skincare strikes a good balance of quality scents that won’t cause your sinuses to revolt. The natural oils bring in the unusual smells of black calla lily, champaka, and sandalwood for a slightly floral scent that isn’t heavily perfumed nor too feminine. Made with grapeseed, jojoba, and argan, you get plenty of moisturizing and conditioning to go along with your new olfactory awesomeness. [Purchase: $29]

Prospector Co Burroughs

Prospector Co. Burroughs

Pro: Permeates thicker beards well
Con: Slightly heavy for short beards or stubble

Skintimate: Generally, beard oils are made to treat the hair, but Burroughs is intended to also treat the skin below it to relieve itching, reduce breakouts, and keep your face clean should you decide to shave during the summer months. Using the standard mix of jojoba, argan, and grapeseed, this also includes kukui nut, sandalwood, pine, cedar, and even frankincense and myrrh. It will make your face feel fresh and give your beard a lushness that is clear both near and far. Named for John Burroughs, a naturalist and serious beard wearer, this concoction works equally well outside as in. Those with thinner or finer beards might find this a mite heavy for their liking, though it is never greasy or oily. Thicker facial briar patch sporters will luxuriate in the deep penetration that goes right to the root, making every strand silky soft and smooth. [Purchase: $33]

Blackbird Beard Oil

Blackbird Beard Oil

Pro: Brings out hairs natural color
Con: Unusual scent

For Fine Fuzz: Not every man is blessed with a rich, full beard that can be styled. Some have fine, limp hair that refuses to stand to attention, lying flat on their face like a wrung-out bar rag. These men require something that can add volume and body to their beard without making it a greasy mess. For the chap who needs a little help there is Blackbird. Made from a concentrated argan oil backed with grapesee oil, Blackbird is sturdy and long-lasting. It is light enough to apply easily then combs through your hair swiftly and evenly. The light scent conjures up ink, paper, and tobacco giving a sense of a 1970’s newspaper bullpen like the one where Woodward and Bernstein cracked Watergate. The price is a little high, but you’ll only need a drip to get by so it can easily last longer than most brands. [Purchase: $38]

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